What, me, worry?

It's now five days post-surgery and I find out that I was supposed to be off work for one week after the operation. Well, I did not know that. There was some suggestion that I stay home for a week but I figured that they would tell me the day of surgery what they did and how involved it was and whether it would require more than a day or so off. I did not get a chance to discuss anything with the surgeon regarding any kind of post-surgical care and what to expect and what all was done. I found out that I did have bone spurs removed in addition to the cyst and reading up on that on medical web sites, that is symptomatic of osteoarthritis. If, indeed, I have the beginnings of that in my hands, it would depress the hell out of me, because that would mean that I can expect degenerative arthritis in the one part of my body that I use a lot. As it is, I have been feeling a bit depressed as a result of this whole thing because I am concerned about whether or not I made the right decision about having surgery vs. opting for doing nothing or just having a simple aspiration of the synovial fluid causing the problem. I am quite sure that my insurance will not cover this surgery and that I will be socked for some astronomical sum of money that I am also sure that I will not be able to afford. I'm only getting a measly $300 as a part of this so-called "economic stimulus" thing, which is just going to be used to help pay off some other old debt that I need to clear up. Gas is rapidly approaching $4 a gallon, food is outrageously expensive, my heat bills are ridiculous for how small my apartment is and I am struggling to keep my head above water on $25,000 a year. Add medical expenses to that and I am feeling very seriously squeezed and no one is doing anything about this. It's very rapidly becoming apparent that in order to survive, I may need a second part time job just to make some extra cash, even as tired as I am at the end of one full time job. I don't really have a desire to work a 60 hour workweek like most people I know do, but if things continue as they are, I may need to work nights and weekends in addition to full time days just to be able to survive this economy.

Anyway, I guess I am just kind of freaking out about the idea that I may have begun developing degenerative osteoarthritis, and I'm only 51 years old. Of course, I won't know anything until I speak to the surgeon next week and get the low-down on what she has to say and where things go from here. I doubt that I will need any post-operative rehab on that finger as I do not expect to have any problems with function. I also doubt that I will have any recurrence of the ganglion as it sounds as if she got it all out. Why I got it in the first place is anybody's guess, as doctors don't really know what causes them, but they can be the result of leaking synovial fluid out of a degenerating joint that is arthritic. That may well have been the cause of mine, but again, until next week when my sutures are removed, I won't know much of anything about what happened, what the doctor did and what to expect post-op wise. It's the not knowing that always gets me. That is what freaked me out before the surgery and that is what is bothering me now. I have one more week until I see the doctor and until then, there isn't much else I can do but sit tight and try to relax and not worry too much. Of course, I am a worrier by nature anyway, but since there isn't any point in doing so since it's such a waste of emotional energy, I just need to stop imagining the worst and try to stay calm, cool and collected. Yeah. Easier said than done!