I think that the reason that the whole Susan Boyle thing has resonated with so many of us is that, as women, society puts a whole lot of pressure on us to maintain our youth and to be beautiful and perfect looking. Witness the number of commercials on TV for "age defying" products to get rid of wrinkles, cover grey hairs and uplift sagging faces. We want to be physically attractive and appealing for as long as we can, despite the effects of aging on our bodies and our faces. But sooner or later, age catches up with us, and no amount of cosmetic cover-ups are going to do and we're just going to have to gracefully accept aging for what it is, a natural process that we must endure. I already see it on myself - unwanted facial hair, sagging jowls, a middle age gut that no amount of working out and eating right can ever get rid of, hair gone silver, deep grooves in my forehead, aching joints, wearing trifocals due to worsening eyesight and the proverbial bags under my eyes that I can't do much of anything about, either. Do I like it? Hell, no, but I'm not going to run out tomorrow and try to have a complete makeover to try to make myself look 25 again. After all, this coming Thursday I turn 52 years old, and while that number seems daunting (especially since I hit the big 5-0 two years ago), I also know that I am lucky to be alive and in reasonably good health aside from a bit of arthritis here and there. I just resent the ageism that is leveled against those of us of the female persuasion. It's as if we're not allowed to grow older and look it as well. People don't consider the wisdom that comes with the aging process.
I'm far wiser now than I was at 25. I've experienced things in my life in the ensuing years since then that have deepened me and made me look at life quite differently than I did as a younger woman. I've lost far too many friends to an early death, watched others struggle with and survive life threatening illnesses, gone through my own battles with painful physical ailments in recent years, grown deeper spiritually as I have taken measure of my own life and learned to value things I didn't before, wrestled with tough emotional battles and learned how to overcome them and have a greater sense of who I am and what I want out of life. I still struggle with issues of self esteem and probably always will. I all too often compare myself to other people instead of looking at who I am and what I have. I all too often let what other people think of me color my own judgement of myself, and that's not good. That's old baggage left over from childhood and I need to just let go of it once and for all.
I also need to accept the limitations that age imposes on us without complaint and instead of thinking in terms of what I can't do, I need to focus instead on what I can do. That's society's ageism creeping into my brain and I mustn't let it color my own feelings of self worth. Sure, I'd love to have the smooth youthful face I had at 25, and the healthier joints I had back then as well, but given what I do have at this age, I think that I ought to have every reason to be proud of myself. When I workout with younger women, I can keep up with them. I can do the same grueling exercises as they can do. I am far stronger physically than I was two and half years ago when I began working out with my trainer Jason. I'm proud of that. And I wouldn't have it any other way. Aside from some troubling joint injuries in recent years, I am probably in better health than I have been in for many years. My goal for this year is to stay healthy enough to avoid yet another trip to physical therapy to rehab another joint injury. Almost one month into taking glucosamine and chondroitin sulfate, I feel better than ever. Let's hope it stays that way.
And let's hope that Susan Boyle has taught the world a lesson that we women need not be all young, thin and beautiful to have talent and a sense of worth. Just because you're over 40, or over 50, and just because you're not model beautiful does not mean that you've not got something special to offer the world. We don't have to run out and buy products to try to make us look 20-30 years younger just to be valued in society. Age should be seen as a gift and older people should be revered for the wisdom they have to offer the younger generations about how to life one's life.
I think that the reason that the whole Susan Boyle thing has resonated with so many of us is that, as women, society puts a whole lot of pressure on us to maintain our youth and to be beautiful and perfect looking. Witness the number of commercials on TV for "age defying" products to get rid of wrinkles, cover grey hairs and uplift sagging faces. We want to be physically attractive and appealing for as long as we can, despite the effects of aging on our bodies and our faces. But sooner or later, age catches up with us, and no amount of cosmetic cover-ups are going to do and we're just going to have to gracefully accept aging for what it is, a natural process that we must endure. I already see it on myself - unwanted facial hair, sagging jowls, a middle age gut that no amount of working out and eating right can ever get rid of, hair gone silver, deep grooves in my forehead, aching joints, wearing trifocals due to worsening eyesight and the proverbial bags under my eyes that I can't do much of anything about, either. Do I like it? Hell, no, but I'm not going to run out tomorrow and try to have a complete makeover to try to make myself look 25 again. After all, this coming Thursday I turn 52 years old, and while that number seems daunting (especially since I hit the big 5-0 two years ago), I also know that I am lucky to be alive and in reasonably good health aside from a bit of arthritis here and there. I just resent the ageism that is leveled against those of us of the female persuasion. It's as if we're not allowed to grow older and look it as well. People don't consider the wisdom that comes with the aging process.
I'm far wiser now than I was at 25. I've experienced things in my life in the ensuing years since then that have deepened me and made me look at life quite differently than I did as a younger woman. I've lost far too many friends to an early death, watched others struggle with and survive life threatening illnesses, gone through my own battles with painful physical ailments in recent years, grown deeper spiritually as I have taken measure of my own life and learned to value things I didn't before, wrestled with tough emotional battles and learned how to overcome them and have a greater sense of who I am and what I want out of life. I still struggle with issues of self esteem and probably always will. I all too often compare myself to other people instead of looking at who I am and what I have. I all too often let what other people think of me color my own judgement of myself, and that's not good. That's old baggage left over from childhood and I need to just let go of it once and for all. 
I also need to accept the limitations that age imposes on us without complaint and instead of thinking in terms of what I can't do, I need to focus instead on what I can do. That's society's ageism creeping into my brain and I mustn't let it color my own feelings of self worth. Sure, I'd love to have the smooth youthful face I had at 25, and the healthier joints I had back then as well, but given what I do have at this age, I think that I ought to have every reason to be proud of myself. When I workout with younger women, I can keep up with them. I can do the same grueling exercises as they can do. I am far stronger physically than I was two and half years ago when I began working out with my trainer Jason. I'm proud of that. And I wouldn't have it any other way. Aside from some troubling joint injuries in recent years, I am probably in better health than I have been in for many years. My goal for this year is to stay healthy enough to avoid yet another trip to physical therapy to rehab another joint injury. Almost one month into taking glucosamine and chondroitin sulfate, I feel better than ever. Let's hope it stays that way. 
And let's hope that Susan Boyle has taught the world a lesson that we women need not be all young, thin and beautiful to have talent and a sense of worth. Just because you're over 40, or over 50, and just because you're not model beautiful does not mean that you've not got something special to offer the world. We don't have to run out and buy products to try to make us look 20-30 years younger just to be valued in society. Age should be seen as a gift and older people should be revered for the wisdom they have to offer the younger generations about how to life one's life. 
2 comments:
Very thoughtful. I know society (advertising?) put a tougher row to how on this subject for women. You said it just right.
So there I am at the gym last night and a bunch of women and I had just finished a particularly brutal workout that our fitness trainer has put us through.
I had a particularly good workout. I was focused and felt strong and sailed through the tough stuff the trainer was having us do. At the end, I remarked, "Well, not bad for someone who's about to turn 52 on Thursday!"
One of the gals said to me that I looked really great and didn't look like someone who's about to turn 52 (OK, so I am blessed with a fairly young looking face and a relatively trim physique and I'm way stronger than I look on first impression). Got me to thinking: What's 52 supposed to look like, anyway?
Society's impressions of what women are supposed to look like are so skewed by advertising that someone my age is thought to look far older and less physically fit than I look. Maybe I'm supposed to look rather dowdy like most folks think someone my age is supposed to look. The only real giveaway as far as my looks are concerned is my silver hair, which I refuse to dye because as I see it, hey, I earned it - the hard way, 26 long years at my career dealing with all manner of occasional craziness.
Just what's 52 supposed to look like, and why is it that folks always compliment me on not looking my age? What is it about age that we seem to hold in such disdain, anyway? Why doesn't age equal wisdom, like it does in some cultures? Why is age seen as some kind of thing to avoid happening to us? (like we can really avoid it, after all!)
There is, after all, such a thing as growing older gracefully. As I see it, that's exactly how I am approaching things. I'm still trim, fit, strong and still able to do some things I could do when I was younger. Sure, age comes with its limitations, and you reach a certain age where you just have to accept that you can't do the things you could when you were 20-30 years younger, but that doesn't have to mean any less quality of life! You can still live a very full, meaningful and active life without having to be able to do all the things you once could when you were younger, after all!
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