Terry G. Harper, 4/30/64-6/2/09

My beloved cousin Terry Harper died on Tuesday afternoon after a valiant two year battle with brain cancer, peacefully and surrounded by his family at home. He was the youngest son of my mom's youngest brother and a real gem of our family. Witty, funny, smart, bright and an all around great guy, he was also the Executive Director of the Society of Professional Journalists. I wish I could have talked to him about my long ago aspirations to be a journalist that I gave up in college when it became apparent that I didn't have the spine for that career choice. I wish I could have gotten to know him better and spent time with him. It's only been since his cancer diagnosis and subsequent blogging of his journey that I spoke to him, and even then, via blog posts and e-mails. I hadn't actually seen him since my grandmother's funeral way back in 1991, and I was struck then by how handsome he'd become and what a charming young man he'd grown up to be. By then, he was already married and he and his wife were newly expectant parents of their first child, Dale, now a handsome teen in his own right. I remember thinking how gorgeous he was and how any woman lucky enough to snag him was one lucky woman indeed. I don't recall meeting his wife Lee Ann, although it's entirely possible that she was there, but I can't remember meeting her. Of course, that was so long ago that it's tough to remember that far back. It's so hard for me to wrap my head around the idea that one of our generation of Harpers is gone, and so young. It was hard enough to cope when my Aunt Eileen died in 1990 and my Uncle Bill died in 2003 (my mom's eldest brother and his wife), but now, to lose a cousin, and one so young, and such a bright light of our family, is so tough to cope with. I had so hoped that he, of all people, would beat the cancer and survive even stronger than when it began. He and my sister began planning a Harper family reunion last year that is scheduled to take place in August, and I was so looking forward to reconnecting with him again, but alas, it isn't to be, and sadly, although not all of my relatives will be able to attend Terry's memorial service on Saturday, the ones I will see will be under circumstances that we'd rather not be faced with right now. But it will be good to spend the weekend with family, including my sister, who is flying in today from Germany to attend the service with us. Terry, you were a bright light of our family, a world class wit, a lovely person and my "favorite cousin", as you called yourself to all of us, and you will be missed. I love you and always will.

OBAMA IN THE MIDDLE EAST

President Obama is in the Middle East this week. It sounds as if he is trying to smooth over relations between the US and the Islamic peoples of that region, since Bush so inflamed anti-American hatred over there. It puzzles me that we as a country maintain such cozy relations with Saudi Arabia when they so flagrantly seem to violate human rights by preventing women from having much in the way of rights. Sure, they are major suppliers of oil so naturally, the US has to maintain a friendly stance toward them in order to keep the oil flowing, but I think that the US ought to try to pressure them to ease up on human rights issues. What's also puzzling is that the majority of 9/11 hijackers were Saudis, not Iraqis, Afghans or anything else, but Saudis, and nothing has ever been said about that. Still, by keeping good relations with the Saudis, they can prove to be valuable allies in the so-called "War on Terror", so I suppose that's why we stay so cozy with them as a country, even though they have a strict and autocratic government. At any rate, the main tensions that seem to be the problem in that part of the world is the Israel-Palestine conflict, which won't be settled until both sides are willing to compromise with each other, and at this point, neither side seems willing to give an inch over anything. They both want the same land and won't settle for anything else. The Israelis seem bent on building as many settlements in the Palestinian lands as possible in order to continue occupation of their land in hopes of eventually taking it back and the Palestinians have had to deal with what I think is a lot of unfair treatment from the Israelis, thanks to unswerving support of Israel by the US, so it seems that the conflict will go on and on and on forever until both sides are willing to live with a two state solution in peace and harmony. I'm sure that I am way oversimplifying the situation in the Middle East, but at this point, it seems that you have two headstrong sides not willing to give one inch to the other in order to have a just and lasting peace for everyone, and that's just wrong.