Lately I've begun to feel a certain frustration about growing older. Wearing trifocals, experiencing more frequent changes in my eyesight, waking up in the mornings stiff and sore, especially after any kind of physical activity, and the knowledge that no matter how I may try, I cannot get my body to do the things it could do when I was 20 are grating on me a lot more these days. I still experience acne breakouts like I was a teenager, though, and no matter what I do or what soaps and lotions and medications I try, I can't control them, particularly when the hormones kick in. I want so much to have nice clear skin, not blotchy red rosacea combined with acne breakouts that embarrass the heck out of me. I want knees that don't ache in the mornings and hands that aren't stiff as hell when I wake up. I want a stubborn Achilles tendon injury to just get over itself and heal up. And most of all, I don't want to depend on medication to deal with these issues. If you ask me, this country is far too dependent on the idea that there's a pill to cure everything, and I'd rather try natural means first before turning to medicine to cure what ails me. I don't know why all of this has suddenly begun to grate on me as much as it has lately. Maybe it's the longer, darker and colder nights. Maybe it's the frustration that happens every time I go to the gym and realize that I am slower than everyone else at finishing various exercises because my age seems to make me take longer to do things that come more easily to younger people. Maybe I'm just being too hard on myself, but I've just begun to feel a certain gnawing frustration at feeling my age sometimes.
We Baby Boomers were raised in such a youth oriented culture that it's hard for us to accept that we're growing older and experiencing its effects. I want to feel 20 again, not have my body rudely remind me upon waking each morning that I'm 51 and each night when I get tired faster and want to fall asleep by 9 p.m. instead of my usual later hour. I fall asleep reading more readily as well and find night driving to be something that's harder to do these days. I can last maybe an hour at most before getting too sleepy when before, driving several hours at a time was easy for me to do. I probably drink too much coffee just to keep going when really, I'd much prefer to just lie down and take a nap to recharge my battery. I remember as a child coming home from school, it wasn't uncommon for us to find our mother asleep on the sofa and I remember wondering why she was doing this in the middle of the day, and now I completely understand why. It's what I do more often than not when coming home from work anymore. Within a half hour of coming home from work, more often than not I fall asleep, sometimes for hours at a time, and have no subsequent problems falling asleep later on in the evenings, usually in front of the TV. I can't stay awake through entire episodes of Saturday Night Live when it used to be so easy to do so. I can't even stay awake in front of prime time programs some nights. It's these sorts of things along with the aches and pains of age that are beginning to genuinely grate on me. And sad to say, there's very little can be done about it except gracefully accept that it's all a part of the aging process and that it will probably get worse as I grow older. Not the sort of thing I necessarily look forward to as I advance into middle age.
Lately I've begun to feel a certain frustration about growing older. Wearing trifocals, experiencing more frequent changes in my eyesight, waking up in the mornings stiff and sore, especially after any kind of physical activity, and the knowledge that no matter how I may try, I cannot get my body to do the things it could do when I was 20 are grating on me a lot more these days. I still experience acne breakouts like I was a teenager, though, and no matter what I do or what soaps and lotions and medications I try, I can't control them, particularly when the hormones kick in. I want so much to have nice clear skin, not blotchy red rosacea combined with acne breakouts that embarrass the heck out of me. I want knees that don't ache in the mornings and hands that aren't stiff as hell when I wake up. I want a stubborn Achilles tendon injury to just get over itself and heal up. And most of all, I don't want to depend on medication to deal with these issues. If you ask me, this country is far too dependent on the idea that there's a pill to cure everything, and I'd rather try natural means first before turning to medicine to cure what ails me. I don't know why all of this has suddenly begun to grate on me as much as it has lately. Maybe it's the longer, darker and colder nights. Maybe it's the frustration that happens every time I go to the gym and realize that I am slower than everyone else at finishing various exercises because my age seems to make me take longer to do things that come more easily to younger people. Maybe I'm just being too hard on myself, but I've just begun to feel a certain gnawing frustration at feeling my age sometimes.
We Baby Boomers were raised in such a youth oriented culture that it's hard for us to accept that we're growing older and experiencing its effects. I want to feel 20 again, not have my body rudely remind me upon waking each morning that I'm 51 and each night when I get tired faster and want to fall asleep by 9 p.m. instead of my usual later hour. I fall asleep reading more readily as well and find night driving to be something that's harder to do these days. I can last maybe an hour at most before getting too sleepy when before, driving several hours at a time was easy for me to do. I probably drink too much coffee just to keep going when really, I'd much prefer to just lie down and take a nap to recharge my battery. I remember as a child coming home from school, it wasn't uncommon for us to find our mother asleep on the sofa and I remember wondering why she was doing this in the middle of the day, and now I completely understand why. It's what I do more often than not when coming home from work anymore. Within a half hour of coming home from work, more often than not I fall asleep, sometimes for hours at a time, and have no subsequent problems falling asleep later on in the evenings, usually in front of the TV. I can't stay awake through entire episodes of Saturday Night Live when it used to be so easy to do so. I can't even stay awake in front of prime time programs some nights. It's these sorts of things along with the aches and pains of age that are beginning to genuinely grate on me. And sad to say, there's very little can be done about it except gracefully accept that it's all a part of the aging process and that it will probably get worse as I grow older. Not the sort of thing I necessarily look forward to as I advance into middle age. 
4 comments:
There was a line in Everything I Need to KNow I Learned in Kindergarten about the world being a better place if we all took daily naps. I still believe this!
I concur. Even a 15 minute "power nap" is a good battery charger and leaves your mind and body more refreshed and ready to tackle whatever gets thrown at you. Unfortunately, the American workplace is so oriented toward that good old fashioned Protestant work ethic that I doubt that most workplaces would dare permit such a thing, lest it be seen as slacking off on the job, a definite violation of the perceived work ethic in this country.
Now, Europeans have the right idea by their midday siestas, tea time, kaffee und kuchen (at least in Germany and Austria) and other midday pleasures. No wonder they are more productive while working fewer hours than we Americans! We could do well to learn from their example, if you want my humble opinion! I'm tired of feeling so tired at the end of my workday instead of refreshed and ready to get on with my evenings. Instead, I come home and all I want to do is to sleep instead of doing something productive with my free time.
I must say that I'm in pretty good shape. I turned 50 this summer. I do nap on weekends to keep up my energy, but I am in quite good physical shape.
I can certainly relate. Try as I might, I'm not the woman I used to be. I LOVE to power nap but I just can't find the time to do so, no less exercise like I should/want to. And my arm flab. Where did THAT come from? At least I found a solution for that. Slimpressions. My new favorite staple in my wardrobe. A premium shapewear line to slim my mid-section, back fat AND ARM FLAB! And mesh arm pits to boot. Brilliant!
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