Winter Solstice

Today marks the Winter Solstice, the shortest day of the year, and a gradual return to longer days between now and the Summer Solstice, when the sun makes its slow retreat back toward shorter days. I must say that I really detest winter and find it to be the longest season of the year. I hate being cold or even feeling cold. I hate long nights and short colorless days of greys, blacks and whites. I hate having to worry about the weather every time I venture out. I hate worrying about other drivers getting stupid and doing something that might ultimately cause me harm, because I have so little medical insurance left that it won't take but one catastrophic illness or injury to bankrupt me. I've been a bit melancholy as it is lately because I am in my third week of a seemingly stubborn respiratory illness that shows no sign of abating as I am still coughing, hacking and sneezing a fair amount. Of course, it doesn't help that my apartment is filthy and cluttered and desperately in need of scrubbing, dusting, mopping and de-cluttering, but I lack the energy to do it because I've been under the weather all month. My landlord will begin a total renovation of my bathroom in a few days and I need to go through it and throw tons of stuff away and pack up the stuff I need to keep, and I need to clean my astonishingly cluttered bedroom because part of my bathroom is going to live there throughout renovations and the only space I have in that room is a tiny path to my bed through mountains of clutter that needs to be dumped. It's all so overwhelming to consider trying to do in the next few days. I also need to start Christmas shopping, paying bills, packing and shipping of gifts to far off lands, I need to decorate the apartment for Christmas but not before it gets cleaned.....so much to do, so little energy in which to accomplish it all in just a few short days. I only have this week off work for the holidays and I have to go back to work next week, so whatever gets done must get done this week before I return to work and come home too tired to do much more than veg out on the sofa. I'm getting panicky as I consider how much needs to get done and in such a short time, too. I just don't know how it's all going to get done. I'm overwhelmed by how dirty and cluttered my apartment has become and it's going to be a monumental task to get this place in ship shape in the next two to three days. I don't want to overtire myself and get sicker than I have already been these past few weeks, but I almost have no choice but to dig in and get going and do as much as humanly possible. I just wish I had some help to get this done. Doing it myself just seems to be such a major task. This is a tiny apartment but it's amazing how quickly it can get filthy and cluttered and become an overwhelming task to clean. So, I guess I'd better just get started and see how much I can get done before I get too tired and need to sit down and rest. Too much to do, too little time in which to get it done........