My whole life has been one incidence after another of being left out of a crowd and left to feel terribly alone. I've never quite felt like I fit in anywhere. I've always felt like the odd man - or woman - out. Maybe it's because I hold the world to a higher standard, maybe it's because I am middle aged and single, I don't know. But lately it just seems like the world just doesn't have a place for me. I don't go out with friends anymore because they are either working different shifts than me or have moved to where there are better jobs. I rely on this computer to stay in touch with people but even that gets old after a while. Everyone at work is either married with kids and a husband or divorced with kids or something with which I cannot identify. I just don't feel like I have anything to talk about with anyone. So I plug myself into my iPod and listen to music most days because that's what gives me solace. I just feel very isolated at work and now, once again, I have been removed from my bookmobile runs and put back on office duty, for what reason I do not know, but it has become apparent that my services are no longer needed or wanted, so I think that it is as good a a time as any to start thinking about retiring and looking for a part time job that will let me set my own hours and live life on my own terms. I am tired of the rest of the world dictating how I will live my life. I am too old for that sort of crap. I've been around too long and I know writing on the wall when I see it. They want me gone at work so they can replace me with someone younger, so I will oblige by retiring at the end of this school year. I will turn 55 next spring and my retirement plan allows me, with over 25 years of service, to retire at that age. I'd hoped to get in my 30 years, but now I think that retiring in 9 months is the right thing to do. They want me gone, it's apparent, and I don't want to stick around at a job where they have made it plain that my services are no longer needed or required. So it's time to start thinking ahead and deciding on a plan of action. I have no retirement savings and probably never will, but a part time job that would allow me the freedom to take time off when I desire would be a good thing. I won't have to worry about health care as I will already get that when I retire, but I will have to worry about the fact that any job I take will have no paid sick or vacation days, so any I would need would have to be docked from my pay, which could be tough given my lack of retirement planning. But I can get around that when I get there once I land a position and make my needs known.
I just feel ready to start the next chapter of my life. I'm in my mid-50s now and want to have more free time to pursue my passions. It's mainly the money thing I worry so much about. I need a retirement plan but it will have to start now since I plan to retire in 9 months. I'm not sure I can put any money away between now and then and I sure as hell am not about to start playing the stock market in this uncertain environment. I've got to figure out what I am going to do and how I am going to do it. I've already cut back a great deal of my monthly budget in order to save money but it sure doesn't feel like any real savings. Money's as tight as it has ever been despite frugal living. I know that retirement on less than I had expected had I stayed the full 30 years is going to be tough, and any job I find is going to have to pay pretty well to make up lost income. I just don't know what I can find that is going to let me live my life on my own terms, make my own hours and let me have the freedom and flexibility I desire right now. Summer travel has become extremely expensive and yet I want the ability to do more of it, not less. That's going to mean that I am going to need more money. I could take a part time evening and weekend job right now to supplement my current income but I am so tired after working one job that I can't imagine having the energy to work two jobs. So I don't know what I want to do right now. I've got to make some definite plans one way or another whether I retire next year or decide to stay on until I get my 30th year in. I'm just tired of not feeling valued at work when I am one of the few people who seems to have a work ethic and shows up regularly, and early, even. I've worked too hard and too long to feel like I am being put out to pasture before my time. If they are not going to value me at work, it's time to move on to something or someplace that does. I don't need to feel like I am just a placeholder until I leave, and that's exactly how I feel right now. I'm worth more than that, frankly. I have talents and abilities that aren't being utilitized and probably never will. So it's time to step aside and let myself be replaced with someone they will use more fully than they ever intend to use me. When your responsibilities have been reduced to nearly nothing, it's clear they want you gone. So I will oblige and leave at the end of this school year whether I have a job lined up or not. I hope I do, but if not, well.....I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. One way or another, it's time to move on with my life. I'm young enough to start another career and too old to feel as if I am wasting my life feeling unwanted at my job. So, damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead!
My whole life has been one incidence after another of being left out of a crowd and left to feel terribly alone. I've never quite felt like I fit in anywhere. I've always felt like the odd man - or woman - out. Maybe it's because I hold the world to a higher standard, maybe it's because I am middle aged and single, I don't know. But lately it just seems like the world just doesn't have a place for me. I don't go out with friends anymore because they are either working different shifts than me or have moved to where there are better jobs. I rely on this computer to stay in touch with people but even that gets old after a while. Everyone at work is either married with kids and a husband or divorced with kids or something with which I cannot identify. I just don't feel like I have anything to talk about with anyone. So I plug myself into my iPod and listen to music most days because that's what gives me solace. I just feel very isolated at work and now, once again, I have been removed from my bookmobile runs and put back on office duty, for what reason I do not know, but it has become apparent that my services are no longer needed or wanted, so I think that it is as good a a time as any to start thinking about retiring and looking for a part time job that will let me set my own hours and live life on my own terms. I am tired of the rest of the world dictating how I will live my life. I am too old for that sort of crap. I've been around too long and I know writing on the wall when I see it. They want me gone at work so they can replace me with someone younger, so I will oblige by retiring at the end of this school year. I will turn 55 next spring and my retirement plan allows me, with over 25 years of service, to retire at that age. I'd hoped to get in my 30 years, but now I think that retiring in 9 months is the right thing to do. They want me gone, it's apparent, and I don't want to stick around at a job where they have made it plain that my services are no longer needed or required. So it's time to start thinking ahead and deciding on a plan of action. I have no retirement savings and probably never will, but a part time job that would allow me the freedom to take time off when I desire would be a good thing. I won't have to worry about health care as I will already get that when I retire, but I will have to worry about the fact that any job I take will have no paid sick or vacation days, so any I would need would have to be docked from my pay, which could be tough given my lack of retirement planning. But I can get around that when I get there once I land a position and make my needs known.
I just feel ready to start the next chapter of my life. I'm in my mid-50s now and want to have more free time to pursue my passions. It's mainly the money thing I worry so much about. I need a retirement plan but it will have to start now since I plan to retire in 9 months. I'm not sure I can put any money away between now and then and I sure as hell am not about to start playing the stock market in this uncertain environment. I've got to figure out what I am going to do and how I am going to do it. I've already cut back a great deal of my monthly budget in order to save money but it sure doesn't feel like any real savings. Money's as tight as it has ever been despite frugal living. I know that retirement on less than I had expected had I stayed the full 30 years is going to be tough, and any job I find is going to have to pay pretty well to make up lost income. I just don't know what I can find that is going to let me live my life on my own terms, make my own hours and let me have the freedom and flexibility I desire right now. Summer travel has become extremely expensive and yet I want the ability to do more of it, not less. That's going to mean that I am going to need more money. I could take a part time evening and weekend job right now to supplement my current income but I am so tired after working one job that I can't imagine having the energy to work two jobs. So I don't know what I want to do right now. I've got to make some definite plans one way or another whether I retire next year or decide to stay on until I get my 30th year in. I'm just tired of not feeling valued at work when I am one of the few people who seems to have a work ethic and shows up regularly, and early, even. I've worked too hard and too long to feel like I am being put out to pasture before my time. If they are not going to value me at work, it's time to move on to something or someplace that does. I don't need to feel like I am just a placeholder until I leave, and that's exactly how I feel right now. I'm worth more than that, frankly. I have talents and abilities that aren't being utilitized and probably never will. So it's time to step aside and let myself be replaced with someone they will use more fully than they ever intend to use me. When your responsibilities have been reduced to nearly nothing, it's clear they want you gone. So I will oblige and leave at the end of this school year whether I have a job lined up or not. I hope I do, but if not, well.....I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. One way or another, it's time to move on with my life. I'm young enough to start another career and too old to feel as if I am wasting my life feeling unwanted at my job. So, damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead!
1 comment:
Now you're talking, kid. Do something totally out of your usual. Get in the best shape of your life and get yourself a lover from some exotic locale far from Cleveland; maybe Columbus or Akron. Hee Hee Hee
I've remade myself so many times scientists can't identify my genetic code anymore.
Sally, I swear, my sign-in word is, "hohum." No, I am not kidding. So much for my scintillating life.
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